this week i just didn't

I think it was because of writing all these blog posts on competing and reimagining motherhood  and I don’t know what happened, but I reconsidered my routine (for the 1059th time).Having faced mom burn out many years ago, I’m SUPER careful to check in with myself on what I need and how packed my schedule is. Honestly, I didn’t think I was even in the yellow for burn out, but and this week I just didn’t.

Here’s what I didn’t do. Almost the entire list. stay on social media more than I needed to blogged like I was supposed to washed dishes every night watch TV ( no kidding!) choose cleaning over something else keep myself from reaching out to 2 friends when I really needed an ear stay up when my eyes were closing plan dinners plan lunches do the mail (okay, Saturday will have to be the day) checking in with my son

Want to know what happened instead?

coffees with 2 new friends took a walk – twice took time to go into a store (I’m not a shopper) bought a crepe pan and learned crepes cried over things that felt unfair in the world cried over the past year in my own world decided I work best with a marker to look forward to besides dinner (like meeting a friend) took a bath limited social media dreamed a bit bigger told 3 new people my dream of a mom ranch wrote a plan for a podcast provided great meals I really wanted to make decided I don’t like blogging and social media every day, but that I am a crackerjack at getting things out in blocks of time my new word is crackerjack my new love is 10pm

and probably most interestingly enough, woke up wanting the day

I did put this originally on Facebook, but I didn’t have room for everything. I realized from that post written at the end of another day where I didn’t, that sometimes we need a little peek into another person's life – especially when she throws in the towel and finds the world didn’t cave in. Here’s what I learned : that burn out can happen when the days are too similar, the systems too set, life too handled. I suspected this when I took a few nights and went to bed around 9pm and didn’t go to sleep but just read whatever I wanted to. It changed the next day.

So, here’s to you – the one holding it together and wondering if you should throw in your towel just for the night… you more than deserve it.

And here’s to you- the one who threw in the towel months ago and have found new life.